I heard it from two separate people today. FAT GODZILLA was too busy to answer work-related questions because she was doing her "Kegel" exercises and could not be bothered. I am not going to tell you what they are - you should Google the word for yourself if you are not familiar with it. That being said can you believe that she is such a moron? This is what she has to do all day.
I on the other hand had the pleasure of meeting with client GELATTO. He is not called GELATTO because of his coldness and creamy texture. I don't even think he is Italian. It is just a nickname that he got, and it stuck with him. Well, I was preparing GELATTO for a deposition scheduled for tomorrow. I had THE INFANT with me, learning so much about how to be a great attorney like me, when GELATTO came out with it. He went on for about ten full minutes about how he was with a hooker last night.
Problem # 1: GELATTO is the grossest, smelliest, most disgusting man on the planet.
Problem # 2: GELATTO proceeded to tell us about every angle, who was on top, on bottom, sideways, backwards, everything.
Problem # 3: See Problem # 1.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for the occasional dirty story. But this was just so freaking disgusting, I almost puked. In fact, I think I threw up a little in my mouth. After this, I had to go on continue preparing him. He then had to tell us about his numerous incarcerations, and drug history. And, of course, then we had to figure out what we were doing for his current case. What a mess.
My suggestion - don't ask, don't tell!
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