WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY...

I know it has been a while since my last post, but I won't apologize. I will write what I want, when I want. You will read this, or won't, but it is my blog, to write as I desire. That being said, I do appreciate the concern. I am even considering posting an e-mail address for private comments (for those of you that have not yet commented publicly) and to continue the exchange of ideas.

Now back to HELL...

DON BOY is away on vacation this week. Although he is never truly away, because I believe even while he is on vacation he has the phone connected to his head and calls the office once every ten minutes.

Since DON BOY is away, FAT GODZILLA is supposed to be in charge. Well, she called in sick. Or, she said she was "dizzy". I guess being "dizzy" means you don't have to work. BINGO BETTY called in sick, sounding like she had THE DOMINATRIX's cold. But THE DOMINATRIX showed up for work.

Mini-drama today was that FAT GODZILLA called THE DOMINATRIX's house because she was 5 minutes and 37 seconds late today. She should be ashamed of herself, I know. Getting caught in traffic, or stopping for coffee. Definite grounds for punishment. At least she's not in Texas, or she'd be dead already. THE DOMINATRIX was rightfully pissed, and told FAT GODZILLA to fuck herself like the fat skank that she is. FAT GODZILLA proceeded to do just that.

Of course, I had the pleasure of telling DON BOY that FAT GODZILLA was not coming in today. She was too scared to call him herself, so she asked me to do it for her. She's the fucking attorney and she's scared of what her little brother might say. I find this very amusing, and thoroughly enjoyed hearing DON BOY squirm while trying to figure out what he was going to do. He's on vacation. She's sick. No one from THE FAMILY is available to watch the mice.

HELL was a lot cooler today than usual. No phones. No screaming. No thoughts in my head of stabbing people with a dull knife. At least not until the SMART OLD HAG cornered me for, no joke, 2-3 hours (all spread out throughout the day). I could not get work done, not because I didn't have any, but because SMART OLD HAG wanted to bull shit all day.

Normally I don't mind the chit-chat, but just for a few minutes, to break up the routine of the day. I typically like to get my work done, and then talk. She wanted to know everything about my law school life, my career up until working in HELL. She even shared all her personal information. I've had enough of SMART OLD HAG. Thank God THE WEASEL went and bought a bag of Potato Chips. At least then I was left alone for one of her 74,321 trips to the chip bag. I still don't understand why she just doesn't put a bunch on a paper plate and be done with it. She's not fooling anybody!

I don't really know what THE ONE THAT SLEEPS WITH CLIENTS did today. She declared to the entire office that she was done with her work. That is her "code" for saying that she won't be in tomorrow. I guess their is a new client that I don't know about.

So, on occasion the mice do play. So what. We need to play every once in a while. All of our work still got done, and we even got to breathe a little. I know "happy thoughts" are not usually the tone of this blog, but hey, even I have to have an off day every once in a while.