With Labor Day approaching, it is most important that I share with you my feelings of those who labor with you in a law office.
Let's start with the Legal Secretary. Pros: Most of the legal secretaries in HELL are very nice, very competent people (all women). The ladies are usually very experienced at their job, most of whom have been working as a legal secretary for 1 or 2 and some for even 3 decades. You know you have a good staff of secretaries when the newest one has been doing legal secretary work for over a decade. Cons: Most of the legal secretaries believe they know your job better than you do. As I said most recently in a post - it is sometimes difficult to keep the lawyer-secretary dynamic with a person that has been working twice or three times as long as you have been in the field. Nevertheless, if you keep your degree in mind, and act professional and courteous, that will go a long way.
Next lets move to the Paralegal. Pros: Many of the legal secretaries in our office have studied to be a paralegal to some degree or another. Paralegals usually (and the operative word is "usually" have more training and education than the secretaries.) Cons: Sometimes the term "paralegal" and "secretary" are used interchangeably, but I believe the main difference comes in the extent of ability to research and assist the lawyer on a scholarly level as compared to the simpler (but not always easier) ability to help in drafting/word processing and preparation. In HELL, for instance, THE WEASEL and THE DOMINATRIX are both legal secretaries, both of whom could also be considered paralegals. However, BINGO BETTY and THE ONE THAT SLEEPS WITH CLIENTS are both more of legal secretaries.
Labor Day wouldn't be noteworthy without the Lawyers. Pros: Of course I will agree that lawyers do most of the work (Not!). Lawyers get paid more to do less work simply because they were smart enough to go to law school and pass the bar exam. That's it. Cons: Secretaries and paralegals often get mad thinking that they are doing the lions share of the work (true). This is not to say that the attorneys don't work (although I readily admit that I do more work than all of the other attorneys in my office combined - no it is not an ego problem, it is a brutal honesty problem I have).
Labor Day is not noteworthy because of the Office Manager - DON BOY thinks he's a lawyer. Although he may be a good business man, he is not a good man. He does not know how to treat his employees. He does not know how to treat his sister, FAT GODZILLA, even if she deserves to be treated like the piece of trash that she is. He does not even know how to treat his wife, DON WIFE. Fact is he is not a bad person. Pro/Con: The fact is, he doesn't know any of this. I don't believe any one person can be as good at what they do and still be as bad at how they do it, and succeed.
I guess this is what Labor Day is really about. We all labor in HELL for THE FAMILY. THE FAMILY benefits, and we get 8 fucking hours off with pay. Ain't life grand.
2 comments:
Well, happy Labor Day anyway, JD,Esq....I know you're serious (sorta) about the fact part of this post, but you are hilarious. (Your style reminds me of a blog I came across, Retail Hell(ish). The guy works in his family store, it's a daily life type blog, too. Except his IS true. He says.)
Ahhhh yes, a whole day off with freaking pay.....Don Boy can't be too happy.... no one to call.... no one to piss off..... no one to yell at.... all by himself. So does Don Boy ever admit when he is wrong.... for someone who checks, double checks, doesn't allow any one to speak to any clients, or attorneys, or Judges or whatever, when he gets called to the "mat" as he was one day last week, blames everyone but himself.... yet he checks all!!! Thank goodness for long weekends or blowups could happen. We'll see how this all ends.
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